Self-compassion consists of three elements:
- Self-care: Gently caring for yourself, rather than harshly criticizing you;
- Acknowledging difficulties and shortcomings: These are universal human experiences;
- Mindfulness: Seeing the ever-changing nature of human emotions, with both joy and sorrow, rather than clinging only to pain.
How can we be kind to ourselves? For many, it’s easier said than done, especially for those with a negative mindset. A recent medical study published by Oita University in Japan has discovered an affordable yet elegant way to help us love ourselves more.
The research team recruited 130 healthy adults to study the relationship between several personality types (including depressed, irritable, and optimistic) and self-compassion, while also exploring whether lifestyle habits (including exercise, listening to music, reading, and meditation) played a role in this relationship. The study found that people with depressive personalities had lower levels of self-compassion; those who read more had higher levels of self-compassion. Most interestingly, reading habits can compensate for the “lack of self-compassion” caused by a depressive personality. In this way, even someone prone to self-criticism and harshness can gradually become more compassionate and gentle towards themselves through the habit of reading.
Why does reading have this effect? When we read, especially literary works, we enter the world of the characters, experience their lives, and understand people from a broader perspective. When we encounter characters in a book who are similar to ourselves and going through difficulties, we feel sad for this person like ourselves, want to comfort them, want to help them, and also feel joy for them when they escape danger and overcome difficulties. This reading process is precisely the core of cultivating compassion for oneself. When we have this reading habit, over time, we naturally begin to see ourselves with the same eyes we see the characters in stories, possessing both compassion and patience, as well as objectivity, calmness, and wisdom. The participants in the aforementioned study read an average of 3.2 hours per week. That is, accumulating about half an hour per day, whether commuting, during lunch, or before bed, those fragmented moments can be used for reading, using reading as a daily practice of “cultivating compassion for oneself.” In the hustle and bustle of daily life, reading offers a path to a moment of peace, allowing us to enter the world of books, encounter the characters, treat them gently, sympathize with their plight, understand their difficulties, and appreciate their efforts. In this way, we can learn to treat ourselves kindly in the real world.
Written by: Dr. William Chui
Originally posted on: am730
